


Louis' Strength

by larry_love23



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Anorexia Recovery, Fluff and Angst, Harry Styles - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, Romance, Smut, Support, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, mental health, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 23:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14943221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larry_love23/pseuds/larry_love23
Summary: Louis is recovering from an eating disorder, and Harry offers his support every step of the way. *This is a three-shot!*





	1. The beginning

Louis hears footsteps coming upstairs. He quickly grabs his jumper in a panic, accidentally putting it on backwards.

"Hey, love," says Harry, opening their bedroom door and heading over to Louis.

"Hey, Hazza," Louis says back, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek.

"Everything okay?" Harry asks. He stands behind Louis and puts his hands on his shoulders, looking into the mirror that Louis has been standing in front of.

"Of course. Why do you ask?" Louis says, almost too quickly.

"Well, for starters, your jumper is on backwards. And inside outside," Harry replies with a smirk.  
His green eyes lock with Louis's blue ones and he gives him a curious look.

 

Then his smile changes to a frown. "Were you — were you body checking again?" Harry whispers.

Louis looks away from Harry, staring at the floor like a puppy who had just destroyed his owner's shoes.  
"I... yeah," Louis replies quietly. "I couldn't help it. I'm sorry."

Harry walks over to the bed and sits down, motioning for Louis to take a seat next to him. Louis follows, hesitantly, and Harry wraps an arm around him, pulling him close to his chest.

"Babe, never be sorry, okay?" Harry says, sternly. "It's not your fault. You're sick. That's all. You know I'm not mad, right?"

Louis looks at Harry, a tear forming in his eye. He nods quickly and then burrows his face into Harry's strong shoulders.

"It's okay, Love," Harry coos, gently stroking Louis' back. "It's alright."

"It's just... it's just so hard not to," Louis squeaks, in between sobs. "Ever since I've been gaining the weight back, I just can't help but check and pick apart every flaw... I can't stop doing it..."

"I know," Harry says, patting Louis' back. "It's okay. Just tell me next time, alright? So I can help you."  
Louis nods and sinks deeper into Harry's arms.

After a few minutes of sitting like this, Louis pulls himself up off of Harry's chest and looks at him with guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry to put you through this," he says, moving away from Harry. "I'm awful."

Harry furrows his brow and stands up. "Don't you ever say that, Louis. I love you and I care about you," he says firmly. "You're not putting me through anything. You're just sick. And I'm here to help you get better."

Louis tries to protest, but Harry shakes his head. "Come on, let's go eat, babe," he says, motioning for Louis to readjust his jumper.

Louis's face turns pale white and his stomach lurches at the thought of eating — especially after how gross his body had been when he looked in the mirror.

Harry instantly notices this reaction, and put a hand on Louis' back.

"Lou, it's hard for you to tell. I know. But you look wonderful. You really do. It's hard to get used to, I'm sure," Harry says, reassuringly. "But I love you and you should trust me."

Louis couldn't help but crack a smile at Harry's sappy words.

"Stop being silly," he says.

"I won't," Harry replies, giggling.

Harry begins to tickle Louis, and the two of them burst out laughing, like in the old days.

But Louis is still weak and Harry can still feel his bones when he touches him. He is genuinely scared for his boyfriend. Four months ago, after dropping nearly 50 pounds in two months—mostly due to starvation and over-exercise—he was diagnosed with anorexia. During the past two months, Louis has managed to gain 15 pounds back, but he's still very underweight and the doctors are worried about him. And so is Harry.

***********************

"Take all the time you want," Harry says, holding up his menu.

Louis rolls his eyes. "You're the one who doesn't know how to read," he says.

Harry laughs. "Nice one, but you know what I mean," he replies, raising an eyebrow.

Louis was joking around but he really felt extremely nervous. Eating was so difficult for him. Every time he sat down to eat, he couldn't stop thinking about how fat he must be getting, how much weight the food would make him gain. He wanted to choose something simple that would be low calorie but fit his meal plan. Not that he needed a meal plan... he had no idea why he needed to gain more weight. He had already gained so much...

Harry's voice snaps Louis out of his trance. "Louis, what do you fancy?" he asks. "Forget about the meal plan for now just pick something you enjoy."

'Nothing,' Louis thought. But he can't tell Harry that. "Umm... I don't know. Chicken," he blurts out, saying the first thing that comes to mind.

"Alright, well there's some chicken dishes here. And if you get the mashed potato on the side that can be your starch. And a salad for vegetables. With dressing of course. How's that?" Harry asks, calculating the calories to ensure that they'll be enough for Louis.

Louis instantly feels terrified and disgusted, but he doesn't want to tell Harry that. He had worked so hard to help him, learning all of his dietary needs and going to all his doctors appointments. Harry even held his hand while he got blood work done because he was too scared to do it alone.

"Yes, perfect." Louis says. "Thank you, love."

He leans over the table and gave Harry a kiss on the cheek.


	2. Progress

*One month later*

"Oh my god, Harry!" Louis calls from his room. Harry hears Louis crying upstairs and runs up immediately.

"I can't fit in these anymore!" Louis shrieks.

Harry has absolutely no idea what to do. Louis is standing in a pair of his favorite jeans, unable to button them, and clearly very upset by this.

Logically, it makes total sense — they were one of the smallest sizes you could get in men's pants. Louis had bought them when he was too thin to fit into anything else. But now, Louis was nearly 30 pounds heavier. Of course these tiny children-sized pants wouldn't fit.

Unfortunately, that won't make things better for Louis. Harry knows by now how Louis's mind works and though he has made so much progress, this situation could easily set him back if he fixated on it.

Harry walks over to Louis calmly. "Hey," he says, grabbing his hand, gently. "Hey."

Louis looks at him, shaking with anger and fear and disgust. "They did this," he says, crying. "The stupid doctors, they made me fat. I told them I shouldn't be eating this much... and they never let me see my weight...."

"Hey," Harry interrupts. "Can we just sit for a second. Let's just calm down."

Harry walks over to him, but he pulls away. "Louis," Harry says, his green eyes gleaming. "You're hurting me when you do this."

Louis turns around, and looks at his boyfriend. He has bags under his eyes. He looks so looked tired, so worn out. Harry had spent so many months trying to help Louis, trying to save him. And now Louis was being absolutely awful to him.

"I'm sorry, Hazza," Louis says, slowly walking towards him. "It was the disease talking."

"I know," Harry says. "It's okay. But Can we talk? I want to make you feel better."

Harry sits on the bed and Louis follows him, cuddling up next to him. Harry takes off Louis's pants and gives him a pair of his sweatpants to wear. Then he makes them each a cup of tea and puts on some relaxing music.

"So, I know you're upset. No one likes to outgrow a pair of jeans. It makes you feel like a failure, right?" Harry finally says.

Louis nods immediately.

"Right. But your case is different. You're not a failure. You're recovering and getting better." Harry stood up and held the pants in his hand.

"These pants are pants for little boys. You wore these when you were very sick," he says. Louis's eyes water a bit as he nods. "These were the pants you wore on tour when they had to take you off stage in a wheelchair. When you were so sick your heart almost stopped.. when..." Harry starts choking up. "When I almost lost my best friend..," he says.

Louis rushes over to him, hugging him tightly as Harry burrows his face into Louis's chest.

"I love you," Louis says. "I love you too," Harry whimpers. He wipes his face and looks at Louis.

"What do you say we throw out the pants? And we get you new ones, yeah?" Harry asks. Louis smiles. "I'd love that," he replies.


	3. Finding His Light

"Hey, Harry!" Louis yells. "Pizza or Chinese?"

"Pizza!" Harry yells back. Louis places the order and runs upstairs, where he finds Harry getting out of the shower.

"Hey," Louis says, grabbing Harry's towel away. Since he hit 150 pounds last month, he has had way more energy — and he's been using most of it up on Harry.

Harry doesn't waste any time. He begins to unbutton Louis's shirt, and then undoes his belt. But before he can get any further, Louis throws him onto the bed.

"Hey, sexy," Louis growls, removing his own pants. He begins to straddle Harry and starts attacking his whole body with kisses, starting with his neck and working his way down to his hip bone. Then, he grips Harry's cock and begins to suck on it, sending Harry into a chorus of moans. When he's done, Harry smiles at him, cocking an eyebrow. "That's new," he says. Louis smiles back. "So is this." He pushes Harry onto his stomach and jumps on top.... "oh my god..." Harry cries. "I've been asking you to ride me for ages." "Yeah, well todays the day," Louis says, smirking.

And with that, Louis begins thrusting, grabbing Harry by the hips and moving his pelvis as fast as he can as he enters Harry's hole. "Fuckkkk... louis... oh my god," Harry wails. Louis himself is barely able to keep from cumming. He tries to hold out for as long as he can, but after a few minutes, he releases, pulling out just as he's finishing and spraying it all over Harry's back. "Fuck you," says harry, laughing hysterically. "I already did," says Louis.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings and Louis grabs his robe and runs for the door. He returns with a ham and pineapple pizza, which he and Harry eat naked in the bed while watching Netflix.

"Louis," Harry says, grabbing a second slice of pizza. Louis was already on his third. "I'm so proud of you."

Louis laughs. "For tonight?" He says, winking.

"No," Harry says. "For your recovery. Just a few months ago you couldn't eat a proper meal let alone pizza... and you had no energy or anything. You're so strong now. And you look absolutely fantastic."

Louis smiles. Harry is right. "Yeah," Louis agrees. "It's still hard sometimes, but when I feel down, I try to distract myself. And I remind myself of how far I've come. I feel so much better," he says. "I mean look at me I'm eating pizza naked for Christ's sake. Do you remember when I wouldn't let you even see me? I always wore those ridiculous jumpers."

Harry smiles, but Louis can tell it's a sad smile. "I do," Harry says, nodding.

"And now I'm here eating takeaway pizza and I'm bloated and my stomach is out but I love you and I don't care," Louis says, beaming.

Harry smiles back at him. "Come here, you," he says. He put the pizza on the bedside table and locked louis in a hug.

"I'm just so glad you're okay," Harry says. "Me too," says Louis. He kisses harry passionately and then pulls away, deep in thought.

"And, you know, I had to work with my therapist for so long before I could see it— but now I see it," Louis says.

"See what?" Asks Harry. Louis gets up and walks to the mirror, standing up tall in front of it.

"Well, my body," he begins, running his hands over his torso. "It's not perfect. But it's a good body. I'm cute."

"Of course you're cute," says Harry, hugging from behind. "You're the cutest."


End file.
